It is a mistake to think that you can control people. Realize this, and you will have seen the fallacy underlying neo-conservative politics and countless unwise parenting and relationship choices.
It's not just a matter of having insufficient force, though that is the idea that baits the Dalek trap. The problem is that people are chaotic systems. They react non-linearly to stimulus. A small nudge here might produce a gigantic reaction there while a massive clampdown might produce a stubborn lack of any reaction at all. This is easiest to see in children but is true, I think, for all. It's just that as adults we grow used to the patterns of our embedded culture and we stop noticing because we too are reacting in similar strange patterns. Embed yourself in someone else's culture, however, and the chaos will become more obvious.
Still even chaotic systems can contain patterns. The best that we can hope for as parents or lovers or artists or diplomats is to act as a sort of attractor, providing little nudges toward the desired still point and applying tremendous patience. The art of parenting and the art of politics is the art of the soft touch. It is the art of nodding subtly to the door and waiting for the other to take a step in that direction.
It is usually impatience that drives us to control others directly. Efficiency and the dangerous idea that sufficient force (and/or the power of our obviously 'right' view) can eradicate free will leads us to try and cut corners, to enact a hard limit when a soft one would be wiser. The problem with taking the hard line and backing someone into a corner is that they may chose to hurt themselves just to spite you. In toddlers we call this a tantrum. In Iraq we call it an "insurgency". In Israel we call it a suicide bomb. The effect is the same. Give someone no options but to obey you and they may decide just to lash out insensibly instead. When we feel we have no choice, we get desperate, and desperate people are angry and have nothing to lose. Faith in this philosophy leads inevitably to frustration, violence, paranoia, and ultimately, if not checked, to the xenophobic need to exterminate all that is other.
While it may seem wasteful, patience and generosity generally seem to be more efficient in the long-term than direct blunt action, no matter how well intentioned. "Softly, softly" should be out motto. Borrowing from the Hippocratic Oath we should remember to "first do no harm" for that is the danger of rash action. This is the lesson I've been struggling to learn for the last year and I still don't always get it, but at least I can now articulate it.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Life as a Top
There is a zen metaphor that says that the mind is like a spinning top. When it is perfectly vertical there is no movement and all is still, but the slightest tilt and everything begins to wobble and wander. The thing is that the vertical position of a spinning top is an unstable equilibrium. It is only able to hold that position if it's perfectly aligned. Just the slightest misalignment and the whole thing starts to fall apart. If you want to keep that top spinning vertically, you have to continually adjust it and push it back to that still point. Sooner or later you spin out and have to start again.
I think the zen guys knew that.
Now not all tops are made equal. Some have quite a large area near the still point which will hold a nearly stable spin, and some are quite tricky to keep going. Some are more susceptible to passing air currents or ground vibrations.
Sometimes I think I'm a bit of a wobbly top and I just keep spinning out. Not so much in my sitting, but in my life in general distraction has been an issue for quite a while. Really probably most of my life, though it didn't start to really become an issue until I went to college. Before that I could get away with being a bit of a dilettante because school was pretty easy. Now though it can be a bit of a struggle to stay afloat.
Still as in zazen, so in life... I guess I just need to keep making adjustments and patiently set my self upright again. The past is insubstantial. Momentum is just the memory of action. It is action NOW! in the present that is the agent of creation. Drop it all and assume correct form.
...and again.
I think the zen guys knew that.
Now not all tops are made equal. Some have quite a large area near the still point which will hold a nearly stable spin, and some are quite tricky to keep going. Some are more susceptible to passing air currents or ground vibrations.
Sometimes I think I'm a bit of a wobbly top and I just keep spinning out. Not so much in my sitting, but in my life in general distraction has been an issue for quite a while. Really probably most of my life, though it didn't start to really become an issue until I went to college. Before that I could get away with being a bit of a dilettante because school was pretty easy. Now though it can be a bit of a struggle to stay afloat.
Still as in zazen, so in life... I guess I just need to keep making adjustments and patiently set my self upright again. The past is insubstantial. Momentum is just the memory of action. It is action NOW! in the present that is the agent of creation. Drop it all and assume correct form.
...and again.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Eyes Peeled for Weather Balloons
Well, it's official now. I've signed my acceptance letter at FSU and I've resigned my post here at Imperial College. No lightening flashes or goovy 60's music involved, but I did have to walk down a long dark corridor to the HR department. True to form there is a bunch of paperwork to sign. Ahh, you have to just smile at the Brittish infatuation with bureaucracy. Somewhere, I'm sure, my picture will be covered with a bunch of X's and dropped in someone's filing cabinet.
Meanwhile things are certainly 'hotting up' as they say here. Sunshine is making preparations to ship our cats back to Colorado. Sunshine's brothers will be here in a bit under 3 weeks and in a bit less than a month we will probably be leaving this jolly little island nation and returning to the states.
On the home front, it's a bit more like Logopolis than The Prisoner. Entropy is certainly having its way with us and there is a palatable sense of just trying to muddle through the great change which will (hopefully) be "prepared for". Certainly things are resting on critical electronic transmissions to keep our finances from collapsing. Heck, we're even about to acquire 3 new companions, though hopefully they will be a bit more useful than Adric, Tegan and Nyssa.
Speaking of entropy, our iPods have both suffered fatal disk crashes. I suppose a 3 year lifetime isn't unheard of for a laptop-style disk drive, particularly one that gets a fair bit of abuse. Still, always a bummer when a well-used tool dies. RIP Eardrum and Q.... Oh and welcome to Laz's toybox (and his mouth).
In other utterly random news, I managed to sleep through my tube stop for the first time in nearly 3 years today. Sigh, I really should make sleep I higher priority I suppose. I can't blame last night on Laz's schedule though. He went to bed on time, but I got distracted by the internet. Specifically, reading webpages supposedly from 15 years in the future. A so-called 'Alternate Reality Game'... Interesting, if disturbing stuff. Check it out if you're interested. (http://iamtryingtobelieve.com/, http://anotherversionofthetruth.com/ or http://www.ninwiki.com if you want to try and understand what's going on.)
Meanwhile things are certainly 'hotting up' as they say here. Sunshine is making preparations to ship our cats back to Colorado. Sunshine's brothers will be here in a bit under 3 weeks and in a bit less than a month we will probably be leaving this jolly little island nation and returning to the states.
On the home front, it's a bit more like Logopolis than The Prisoner. Entropy is certainly having its way with us and there is a palatable sense of just trying to muddle through the great change which will (hopefully) be "prepared for". Certainly things are resting on critical electronic transmissions to keep our finances from collapsing. Heck, we're even about to acquire 3 new companions, though hopefully they will be a bit more useful than Adric, Tegan and Nyssa.
Speaking of entropy, our iPods have both suffered fatal disk crashes. I suppose a 3 year lifetime isn't unheard of for a laptop-style disk drive, particularly one that gets a fair bit of abuse. Still, always a bummer when a well-used tool dies. RIP Eardrum and Q.... Oh and welcome to Laz's toybox (and his mouth).
In other utterly random news, I managed to sleep through my tube stop for the first time in nearly 3 years today. Sigh, I really should make sleep I higher priority I suppose. I can't blame last night on Laz's schedule though. He went to bed on time, but I got distracted by the internet. Specifically, reading webpages supposedly from 15 years in the future. A so-called 'Alternate Reality Game'... Interesting, if disturbing stuff. Check it out if you're interested. (http://iamtryingtobelieve.com/, http://anotherversionofthetruth.com/ or http://www.ninwiki.com if you want to try and understand what's going on.)
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